Frequently Asked Questions
My baby is going the 4 month regression - can I still do sleep training?
Yes it's absolutely fine to do the programme during a 'regression' or before the next one! If anything, it helps with these. Babies go through so many regressions (yay for us ;) - these are actually positive as they are periods of HUGE learning curves for baby - from around 4 months all the way up until 18 months! Each one is different as they grow and reach different physical AND developmental milestones! To reassure you, if anything, sleep training actually HELPS you and baby through these building blocks, because once babies have learnt their own independent sleep skills and self settling - thus falling asleep all on their own, at bedtime AND at nap times, the regressions shouldn't really have an impact on their sleep habits. If they wake a bit more during these times that is totally normal and they will then simply know how to put themselves back to sleep. You would expect to still see consistency with their night and day sleep on the whole, as long as during these times parents remain very consistent with their set routine and maintain these learned and healthy sleep habits.
What is the best age to do sleep training?
There is no right or wrong age to start teaching your baby independent sleep skills. I work with a wide age range of babies from newborns right up to 6 years old and I work on a case-by-case basis. Of course, newborns are up and about at night needing more frequent feeds so you wouldn’t ‘sleep train’ them as such - but rather slowly guide them towards more independent sleep habits for the future (see Newborn package details). It is quite common for babies to drop their night feeds on their own from around 3-4 months onwards so you can do a sleep programme with me from this young age. If they are of a healthy weight and have doubled their birth weight they can tend to sleep around 11-12 hours a night. Each family is different - the most important thing is that you do sleep training if you need to, and only when it feels like the right time for you and your child.
What if my baby still needs feeding in the night - can I still do sleep training with you?
Absolutely. If your baby still needs a feed or two in the night, you must absolutely feed them! I can show you how to do those night feeds in a way that doesn’t affect their sleep habits negatively, and therefore sleep training still has a huge positive effect on their night sleep going forward and their naps.
Is it better to start the sleep programme once I have moved my baby into their own room or can I do it while they are still in my room?
I have worked with babies who are still sleeping in their parents’ room, as well as those that have been moved into their own room. Yes, it is convenient for parents and baby to have their own room from the start of the programme where possible (this makes it easier for parents and babies to get better sleep as we don’t wake each other up when going to bed at different times, and babies tend to be noisy sleepers!). However, my sleep plans work just as well with baby in your room too - when done right. Moving the cot further away from your bed helps in cases like this, as baby can become stimulated when seeing you right next to them in the night.
What happens if a sleep training programme doesn’t work for my baby or child - is there a guarantee of success?
It is a 2 week program through which I support you. How long your baby takes to adapt to the new structure and routine I cannot determine as every child is different, which is why I do not offer 'guarantees' as such. This is because the success of the sleep plan depends on the methods, how I tailor it for your child, but mainly on how consistently parents follow the plan. I have had a 100% success rate with my cases where parents have followed the plan to the letter. To explain this further, my service (and any other sleep consultant's service for that matter) is based on the time spent with you. The intellectual property and knowledge that I share with you is the result of years of cases and experience. My trainer and mentor, Karen Bramall of Baby Sleep the Night, has had 100% success rate with all her clients who have stuck to the plan and advice given. As I cannot guarantee the extent to which each client follows the plan given and the degree to which they are consistent, it is the parent’s responsibility to put into action the information given in the consultation. My role in it is to coach you through it and use the expert knowledge and skills learnt to help you implement the changes to your baby’s sleep and thus all get a better night's rest. I guide you through it and help you to stick to it but as I am not with you physically doing it for you, I am going on what you tell me on our follow up calls.
What if I still need your help after the 2 weeks of working with you?
If you do want more support following our time together, either to work on particular issues or support to remain on track, then you have the option to purchase another week of support. It also depends on the age of the baby as some babies finish the programme and then are nearing the age of going through a nap transition (e.g. from 2 naps to 1 nap or a nap drop) and so parents can then purchase a separate week of support to help them through that if needed.
I hate hearing my baby cry - what can I expect in terms of crying and is it damaging for my baby?
Yes, the gentle methods I use can still involve some tears because this is a baby's form of protest when we are making changes to their sleep environment and ways of falling asleep.
Adults are very protective of their sleep environment and would complain if you took away/ changed their favourite pillow for example, and the same will be true for your child when we make a few changes to his/ her current schedule, so I cannot promise you there will be no crying at all.
BUT, what I can promise you is that I will never ask you to leave your child alone to cry whilst they are learning these new independent sleep skills if that is something that worries you. I will be suggesting that you don't dash in straight away when they wake, but you can be there right by their side, touching them, talking to them and comforting them throughout the process. However, this is just one aspect of the sleep program and I have a very holistic approach to creating the bespoke plan by looking at all aspects of your baby’s day to help their night sleep improve.
Can my husband/ partner sit in on the consultation?
Yes of course! I love it when mums and dads have support from their partners and they are both involved. It also helps to give each other a break and some time to sleep if you take turns with attending to your baby when they wake at night. It also shows baby (especially relevant for toddlers!) that the same rules apply, whether mummy, daddy or grandma puts them to bed, which makes bedtime easier for everyone. Bring on the return of a stress-free date night!
So many people tell me my child will ‘grow out’ of not sleeping - is this true?
All babies and children are different; their needs, their families, their lifestyles, their feeding habits. Yes, some children grow into better sleepers as they get older, but for those who rely heavily on any external factors to fall asleep it is harder for them to learn to self settle. Sleep is a cyclical process and this means that every time they wake from a sleep cycle, they need that external factor, or ‘prop’ as many call them (e.g. rocking, feeding, dummy, mummy's fingers) to fall asleep again - which is when you are wide awake again each time too. This causes broken and disrupted sleep for parents and babies which can have a detrimental affect on our bodies and minds.
Why is sleep so important? I feel a little guilty spending money on this - as if its an unnecessary ‘luxury’.
Think of it in simple terms. Sleep is needed for our bodies and minds to heal, recover, grow, develop and function. If we spend the majority of our lives each and every night sleeping for approximately 8 hours a night, that’s A LOT of hours of sleep in our life time. If you had to put a value on spending money on something that you spend so many hours doing, it is a lot of money! We don’t think twice to spend more than this on a hair appointment or a new item of clothing. Yet, people feel guilty spending money on something as vital as sleep.
Sleep experts attest that consolidated sleep (uninterrupted sleep) is the most restful, restorative and healthy kind of sleep for both infants and adults. It is when the immune system recharges, growth occurs and things learned during the day are committed to memory. Sleep that is broken up with several night wakings usually leads to daytime sleepiness, a decrease in mental flexibility and attention, as well as impairments of mood and can have a huge effect on the overall health of the whole family. Adults who have had as little as one night of fragmented sleep show a dramatic reduction in motivation and attention. The effects on infants and children are even more harmful. In order for children and adults to function at their peak performance, both must be getting adequate, consolidated sleep. Children who sleep 11-12 hours a night wake well-rested, ready to cope, attentive, cheerful, and best able to learn from their environment. Parents too will feel better equipped to perform the demanding tasks of work and family life.
Dr. William Dement, Founder and Director of Stanford University Sleep Research Center, explains: “Healthful sleep has been empirically proven to be the single most important factor in predicting longevity - more influential than diet, exercise, or heredity. And yet we are a sleep-sick society, ignorant of the facts of sleep and the price of sleep deprivation.”
Does the programme allow for daytime naps to take place in different environments, as we are often out and about in the day?
Yes absolutely - we can tailor the sleep plan to work around you and your family lifestyle, however I do ask that if most of your child’s naps will usually take place at home in their cot, then while we are working on improving naps, they need to get as much practice in their cot as possible. That is not to say that you cannot take him/ her out in the buggy for one of those naps - in fact it is good for you to get out of the house during this process and get some fresh air. I always remind parents that following the plan strictly for 2 weeks is a small price to pay for getting your nights rest back and some predictable breaks in the day 🙂
